Up Jumps the Boogie

One night, I had plans with Dina; I was supposed to be staying the night at her house, and we were going out that night.  To pregame, we killed a 750 mL bottle of ABSO-FUCKIN-LUTELY, but our plans changed … I was newly attached to Cali, so we decided that the four of us (Dina, Cali, Cali’s friend and I) would go out to a club downtown.  Dina and I were getting smashed, and we continued to drink at the club.  Everything was all to the good until Cali had too many drinks (in his defense which I rarely take up for, we all did).  What seemed like suddenly, Cali got LIVID at me because his homeboy said something about me that was out of pocket.  In idea, the act seems sweet and protective; in reality though, I fucking knew Cali was about to flip his shit … on me.  In true “bros before hoes” fashion, of course I was somehow at fault (I think at one point it was my fault because of my outfit; you know, the run-of-the-mill slut-shaming that has become a normalcy of my life).  In the car ride back, Cali was completely lashing out at me, while his homeboy was on his way elsewhere, able to escape from the next (awful) proceedings.  Cali lectured me about everything, including but not limited to saying shit about how the way I dress brings negative attention, how I need to carry myself better, how I am a flirt … etc. etc. etc. … blah, blah, blah; no one cares, including me … on one of his many misogynistic tirades.  Once we got to Dina’s (let me again state that I was supposed to be staying the night), Cali took his anger up a notch.  Utterly mortified, I just wanted to end the damn night and leave with him so that he would just STOP causing such a major scene at Dina’s.  BIG MISTAKE.  After saying a thousand “I’m so sorr[ies]” and getting my shit together, I departed with Cali and left my car at Dina’s.  The car ride was THE WORST because he was RAGING on me and being a COMPLETE sociopathic fucktard.  Everything was my fault as he proceeded to remind me in-between spewing every and any other insult imaginable to my face.  Fuming with rage, I demanded that he stop the car and let me out.  He refused and continued to tell me basically that I ain’t shit.  Drunk, sad, and angry (and crazy), I screamed “Let me out of this fucking car right now, or I swear to God I will jump the fuck out!!!!!!!”  Immediately upon shouting such obscenities, my heart sank.  He refused, as I knew he would, and instantly I knew what I had to do …

SN: As immoral as I can be, I almost never swear, especially to the Highest.

Welp, with all reasoning out of the rolled down car window, I stayed true to my words: I took off my shoes (a brand new pair I could not risk fucking up), I took my keys from my purse, and I left my purse and phone on the passenger seat (fool); I opened the door, looked at Cali, and SWOOSH…a bitch hopped out that mutha fuka, what’s up … FUCKING IDIOT.  The rest of the night is a bit foggy, but I was in a club dress, no panties, no shoes, no phone; just me and my keys, tears, regrets, and thoughts (or lack thereof), free to remind myself that the current situation is my very own doing (round of applause).  Distressed but no damsel, I was staggering through the hood around 4 AM on a Sunday morning.  I realized the danger, so I decided to find a safe haven to keep from being a target.  With my master plan set, I found a place to rest and collect myself–on the lawn of a condemned house … on which I passed out and fell asleep (wow).  What seemed like 5 minutes later, I awoke with the sun (the fucking SUN) in my face because it was now almost NOON, and to a man pleading with me to come-to as he stated, “Please, oh God, please wake up! You’re like my daughters age” to which I replied, “I’m thirsty.”  He bought me a water, and he gave me a ride to my house where my bike was.  In blazing June heat, I rode my bike, my bicycle, (completely hungover) for roughly 15 miles to get my car from Dina’s.  I fell off my bike twice, and I sprained my ankle on one of those falls.  Later I found out that Cali went all up and through my phone, calling people ranging from my mom and other family members (some  not even in this damn state) to my boss (although this incident did not and would not prevent me from working so there was absolutely NO need to place that call).  Ugh, not my finest moment, and definitely a once in a lifetime mistake. Whew, I am lucky to have made it out of that one!