As a realist, I am willing to admit that I am very awkward when it comes to dating. By dating, I do actually mean going on dates with men I hardly know; I get really weird about it (I realize how strange that is considering the life I lead). While being recently forced back into the dating scene, I started reminiscing on the last time I “got back out there.” When I remembered this Hell Date, I could do nothing but laugh to myself, so of course I have to post it!
Ok, so the story begins the same night when I met Honest Abe, ran into Dufus for the first time outside of school (in night time gear), and had the falling out with Siren. Before any of that happened, Siren spent that Friday afternoon trying to convince me to go to the club with her and this guy she spent the night with. At the time, I was a shell of a person and had not been going out much socially. Siren had a little pep-chat with me, that actually worked, and I decided, what the hell, I was in. While we were pre-gaming with a bottle of Belve like we normally did, I came up with the personal plan to see how many numbers I could get. With a plan in motion, I put on the slinkiest dress I owned, let my hair down, and drank my last cup of confidence (the Belve).
SN:I will leave most of the nights events withn the other 3 posts that are related, Honest Abe, Class Act, and Womance.
We all arrived at the club, and I proceed to execute my plan. Well, I kept the confidence a-flowing, and I got pretty full of myself that night; in short, I was wasted. The next morning, I looked at my phone, and I had a slew of new numbers, new contacts, and TOO many messages! I weeded through the potentials, and discarded what I wasn’t interested in. That left roughly 3-5 men that I was in the “getting to know you” talks with. I got two of them confused, I realized that when I showed up at the date. I had the right names for the wrong people, I was not that disappointed, but I was left wondering what it would be like if I was on the same date with who I thought it would actually be. I am getting a bit ahead of myself now because this next subject is of major importance-my shoes.
On the night of the date with Sgt. (Sergeant), I was absolutely unmotivated to go. I had partied all night the night before, and I was still hurt by 6:00 the night after. I eventually got my shit together around 7:00, as I was to meet him for dinner at 9:00. I chose to wear a teal snakeskin cardigan, a black pencil skirt with lace insets up the thighs, and a pair of black patent leather black wedge ankle booties. I love this pair of shoes so much, that I also have a pair of blue snakeskin wedge booties just like them by the same designer. However, the shoes don’t come without consequence, I have to walk VERY carefully, in fact, I cannot walk in them at all, they require a meticulous strut. I am the first to admit that I am clumsy, I am the most accident person I know! I fall A LOT, and when I am wearing either pair of those shoes, I feel as though a fall or trip is inevitable-that would probably stop most for wearing the shoes, but let’s not pretend I’m not crazy. I let him choose the restaurant, and I had totally forgotten that Premo works there, Awkward! I decided not to think about that, and hope that I don’t run into him. I call Sgt. to let him know I was walking in, and he met me at the door. Ok, I was wearing 5 inch heels which makes me 6’1, but Sgt. came up to my upper ribcage!!!!!!!!!! He did have a cute face though, and I was already there, thus we continued with the date. When we sat down, he asked how tall I am, to which I replied. Then he commented on my shoes, and asked how I walk in them, to which in my reply I told him that I was born in heels; but that I fall all the time in the ones I had on. He then continued to tell me that I looked too pretty to be falling down, and that he would catch me (yeah, right). During the date, I learned that he was a “US Marine, from Chicago byway of Mississippi.” He was VERY much into his career, and EXTREMELY straight edge-which I have the UTMOST respect for, but I am just not their type, nor are they mine.
SN: I was SUPER high when I got there.
SN:I laugh hysterically when I get nervous.
Upon finding this information out, I was even more disappointed; but he was nice and charming, so I just rode with it and tried to make the best out of it. Then, Premo walked out of the kitchen (our table was next to the door to the kitchen), and he saw me. I smiled and laughed uncontrollably as I introduced him and my date. My date started looking at me weird, and asked me if I was drunk in an accusatory fashion. I told him that I wasn’t, but I could tell that he didn’t believe me. I really didn’t want to tell him that I was high as fuck because he seemed to be judgmental, or like he may have a problem with it. Premo went back into the kitchen, and proceeds to send us out a free appetizer of fried green tomatoes, knowing that I HATE tomato everything.
The date continued, and we decided to go to a local bar for a drink. We sit in his car an talk for a second, then he asked why I was laughing like that in the other restaurant. I got nervous again and started to laugh, AGAIN. Then, he asked me if I was drunk, again. I assured him that I wasn’t, and then he came around to open my door. As we were walking up to the door of the bar, his hand brushed with mine, and I freaked! I don’t even know if he was trying to hold my hand, but I lost my balance when I jerked my had away…then I fell. He did not catch me. Luckily, I didn’t fuck my shoes up though! He seemed angry, and told me that he knew I was too drunk! I was pissed ooff, not so much because I fell, moreso because he kept accusing me of being drunk! I snapped on him, and I just told him that I smoke all of the time and I smoked on the way there, and my shoes are what made me fall! He shook his head at me and walked to the door to open it-both of our cars were in the parking lot, so I told him I thought the date should be over then because we just don’t have the chemistry.
I will say, one thing I can take form that date to any future ones is, don’t wear either one of those pairs of booties! Better I find that out with him than with someone that I would actually be mortified in front of.#trialrun
A Blakward Perspective... 