Desperation Won’t Do

The song, Desperation Won’t Do, is by the band, “The Prisoners.” One night, back when my “Obeseesive About One Man in Particular Disease” was focused upon Premo, Roabanga and I went out for drinks at the bar behind my house where I frequented. At the time, Gump had just left me for the final time; due to the fact that I could NOT leave his cousin alone (sick/twisted, I know), and the night before, my “side piece” called me while I was asleep; and Gump answered my phone, resulting in a candid conversation between them. During this particular time in my life, I had a faux engagement with Gump (whom I lived with), was banging his cousin on the side, had a pretend boyfriend (pretend on MY part that is), and was focusing ALL of my remaining efforts on bagging Premo.
You see, the thing is, Premo and I had started building a close friendship. He, a married man on the heels of his legal separation, was deeply depressed about the state of his marriage. He was rightfully disappointed regarding his failed marriage; and as an even bigger blow to his male ego, his wife was leaving him for a woman. I’m not saying I took advantage of him, I tried to maintain some boundaries, though my motives impure, they were genuine. But hey, what can I say, I’m a good friend and confidant. As my interest in him increased, so did the time we spent together. We went from smoking blunts at work, to having drinks after, to frequent sleepovers (all which to my disapproval, EXCLUDED sex). By the time this night took place, I had not slept in my bed, next to my fiance in over 2 weeks; and when I was getting home between 5-6 A.M., he was usually on his way to work.
Back to the night of this life lesson I entitle, “Desperation Won’t Do.” While at the bar with Robanga, we did not know that one of our soundtrack songs would debut that night. The band: The Prisoners; the song: “Desperation Won’t Do;” the scene: That one bar; The scenario: gathering liquid courage. On this particular night, I had decided to make my move on Premo. It was no secret how bad I wanted him, and each sleepover was torturous yet glorious at the same time. I had had enough; enough of the tip toeing around, enough of the wearing his basketball gear to sleep, pretending that I don’t feel his morning wood…Tonight was THE night…or so I thought…
After ungodly amounts of alcohol, combined with a pre-scheduled sleepover at Premo’s I was ON ONE. The song had us in our own would, with outsiders looking in while Robanga and myself took over the dance floor; better yet, the building. All eyes were on us jigging to the tunes. After this weirdo couple propositioned me for a threesome; we decided to end the night, though in my head, my night was about to begin. Oh, how incredibly wrong I was….
When I got to Premo’s house, he was not there. I was told to wait for him in his room, not an unusual request by this time. I did as I was told, except I did this FULLY nude. I positioned myself in what I drunkenly thought to be a flattering/sexy pose; and waited for him, ready to pounce on him upon his entrance. Well, after practicing my lines in my head once more, I decided to relax, to not appear so rehearsed. Relax I did, when he came home WITH HIS BFF; they barged in his room ready to play Guitar Hero, only to find me naked and spread eagle, ON TOP of his bed sheets, with drool coming out of my mouth running down the side of my face.
I think it goes without saying that not only did I loose dignity, I lost my chances with him, and one of my favorite earrings UGH!. We remained friends after that; but if I remember correctly, I believe that was our very LAST sleepover….and we have NEVER had sex, to this day. We have pretty much pretended that didn’t happen ever since I woke up the next, afternoon. Not my finest moments!